To Be With

There's an epidemic - even a pandemic - that has spread across the world to every continent, country, and people.  It's not Covid 19, but no doubt the Coronavirus played a role in this other pandemic.  It's the disease (dis-ease) of loneliness and isolation.  And make no mistake, isolation and the loneliness it carries with it are as big a health and mental threat to our world as any contagious disease.  

Every technology has benefits and costs.  When we adopt and adapt to new technologies, we should weigh both the costs and the benefits.  Maybe this leads us to reject a new tool.  Or maybe we just put it on hold until we have more comprehensive information about it.  We might hesitantly embrace it, but with some caveats and safeguards.  Maybe we limit its use and continue to also use older methods and technologies.  Or, in some cases we might wholeheartedly embrace this new development.  But again, we must always remember that there will be losses, as well as gains when we shift away from one way of living to another.

Unfortunately, when smartphones were introduced about 15 years ago, it seems as if they were unreservedly and uncritically embraced.  Only the benefits of these powerful new devices were considered.  Not many stopped to imagine how the unreflective adoption of these tools would change our lives.  But in short order it became obvious that smartphones present as many problems for us even as they provide solutions.  

In no particular order, there are questions about diminished attention spans, developmental distortion of developing brains in adolescents, the loss of face-to-face interaction and compromised communal participation.  I would like us to consider the last two issues - the loss of face-to-face interaction and diminished communal participation.  

The toothpaste isn't going back into the tube.  But that doesn't mean that the issues arising from portable computing machines (however they continue to be developed) don't exist or need to be addressed.  And when it comes to the lack of in person relationships and shared communal experience, an ancient story might offer some solutions to these very modern problems.

"He (Jesus) went up the mountain and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him.  And he appointed twelve, whom he also named apostles, to be with him, and to be sent out to proclaim the message, and to have authority to cast out demons.  So he appointed the twelve..." (Mark 3:13-16a, NRSV).

The twelve apostles of Jesus were critical to his mission.  They were to be extensions of him - to follow in his footsteps, learning from him, their rabbi, and imitating his ministry among the people.  They were called "apostles", because they were to be "sent out" with the message of Jesus.  He chose 12 apostles because they symbollicaly represented the 12 tribes of Israel.  They were a sign to the people that God was reconstituting the people of God.  But maybe, even more critical than the "sent" and symbolic aspect of their role, was what these twelve individuals brought to Jesus himself.  There was a personal function for these men to fulfill.  

Jesus appointed these 12 to be with him.  Jesus needed these relationships.  He desired these friendships.  He yearned for the face-to-face interaction that these people could provide him.  He wanted the community that these followers would create.  Later in chapter three of Mark's gospel, Jesus says that these 12, along with anyone else who does the will of God, are his family.  Jesus needed followers to participate and assist in his mission, but even more so, Jesus longed for people to live in relationship with him.  Jesus wasn't just providing us with a model for ministry, he was affirming a blueprint for life.  He endorsed a way of living that has enriched humanity for thousands of years - a way of living that if abandoned for the convenience of "virtual" relationships or "online" communities, has the power to diminish, if not destroy some of the essential traits that make us human.  We were created for community, and we must not let the proliferation of these new technologies isolate us from the relationships we critically need to thrive.  

I offer three suggestions that might help us navigate this rapidly changing environment.  First of all, let's create some healthy boundaries around our technology.  Too much of anything can be a bad thing.  Too much caffeine, too much alcohol, and even too much water can have negative effects on our health.  Too much screen time (whether on a laptop, tablet, phone, or TV) is unhealthy.  Like alcohol or coffee, each person must decide how much is too much and make appropriate plans.  Being aware of how much media we are consuming is important and putting in safeguards or limits is wise.  If we meet a friend for coffee or lunch, it might be appropriate to put away our phones for the duration of the meeting.  If this is not possible, it might be wise to only attend to the devise in the case of an emergency.  Maybe families create designated times where digital technology is off-limits?  Shared meals around tables instead of in front of televisions are positively formative.  Whatever limits or boundaries are established is less important than the fact that they are established.  

Second, let's be intentional in our relationships.  The busier we get, the easier it is to become isolated from our friends and families.  Unless we carve out time to be with others, we might find ourselves living day to day and week to week in increasing isolation.  There's nothing wrong with scheduling time for the important people in our lives.  We schedule dentist appointments because they are crucial to our oral hygiene.  Scheduling space and time for community is crucial to our mental health and hygiene.  

Finally, let's be willing to expand our social circle.  Jesus was intimately close with three of his apostles (Peter, James, and John), and he was quite close with the other nine (including Judas who later betrayed him).  But he did not limit himself to these twelve.  He made personal connections with many different people throughout his ministry, and he was open to wining and dining with people from every conceivable background.  Sometimes we need to invite others into our existing communities and at other times, we should be open to explore other's circle of friends.  We won't always have the same level of relationship with each and every person we encounter, but we all need friends, and there might be quite a few people who need us to be their friends.  

Mark 3:13 & ff, reminds us that we were created for community and our full humanity is realized in relationship.  Our personal devices have the power to enhance our lives, but there's a danger that they might also diminish them when they interfere with our friendships and when they isolate us from our communities.  We want face-to-face connections, and we need fruitful relationships.  There's no doubt that the twelve needed to be in relationship with Jesus, but let's not forget that Jesus needed to be in relationship with them too. - Shay